Kill small talk at work: how better questions improve workplace culture
“How’s it going?”
“Great, you?”
“Good.”
And just like that, nothing happened. No spark. No connection. No actual exchange of information.
Small talk at work isn’t evil — but it’s a missed opportunity. Those autopilot questions keep conversations safe and predictable, but they also keep them surface-level. And surface-level relationships lead to surface-level collaboration.
If you want a team that’s energized, open to change and willing to share the truth, you’ve got to give them something more than “How’s it going?”
The problem with autopilot conversations
When leaders rely on the same throwaway questions every day, they train themselves — and their teams — to operate on autopilot, limiting the strength of team communication. Predictable questions yield predictable answers, and employees stop thinking about what they really need or feel.
It’s not just boring. It’s a culture killer.
It reinforces disengagement. If people feel you’re not really interested, they won’t bother sharing anything meaningful.
It keeps problems hidden. Surface-level chatter won’t uncover brewing challenges or brilliant ideas.
It wastes leadership moments. Every conversation is a chance to connect, motivate or learn something. Why squander it?
Better questions drive better work
The fix is simple: Swap vague, automatic questions for something specific, human and a little unexpected.
Scrap “How’s it going?” and try:
“What’s the best part of your week so far?”
“What’s the last great movie you watched?”
“How’s that [specific project or goal] coming along?”
“What music are you listening to these days?”
“What’s one thing that would make your work easier right now?”
These aren’t just icebreakers — they’re trust-builders. They show you notice details, remember past conversations and genuinely care about the person in front of you.
And if nothing else, they break up day-to-day monotony, which is a great way to boost team performance and improve workplace culture.
Tip: Breaking the “How’s it going?” habit will feel weird, but just push through it. Sooner or later, you’ll cringe at the thought of starting a conversation that way.
Why it matters for change and engagement
When conversations get specific, people start expecting you to listen. And when people expect you to listen, they’re more likely to speak up. That’s the foundation for everything.
Change readiness: Teams that experience strong, authentic leadership communication are more open to new ideas and processes.
Honest feedback: Trust grows when every exchange feels like it has a purpose.
Culture health: Specific, authentic conversation is contagious; it shapes how teams interact with each other.
You’re not just making conversation better — you’re taking on a leadership style that trains your team’s collective brain to be more curious, more aware and more connected.
Small talk vs. personal conversations
For the record, small talk and personal conversations are not the same thing. Small talk is, “Nice weather we’re having today,” but personal conversations can (and should) contain substance.
| Small talk | Personal conversations |
|---|---|
| You never move past surface-level topics. | You talk about things unique to the people involved. |
| You don't learn, engage or even think much. | You get to know someone (or yourself) better. |
| You don't feel any new emotions (except boredom). | You feel something (happy, amused, surprised, etc.). |
Small talk drains you. Personal conversations fill you up. A hallway chat about conquering yesterday’s workout or a pre-meeting anecdote about potty training — anything that helps people feel connected and engaged at work. Encouraging these moments between tasks is a secret weapon for leveling up leadership communication.
From small talk to stronger teams
Small talk is the default — and that’s the problem. Every time you resort to it, you’re leaving connection, insight and energy on the table. Start with better questions, and you’ll see stronger team communication, higher employee engagement and a healthier workplace culture.
So next time you feel “How’s it going?” on the tip of your tongue, stop. Ask something that makes someone turn their head, sit up in their chair or actually lean in. The answer might change more than just your conversation.
